I just recovered last two weeks ago and am out of meds since last week. But due to prolonged hiatus from my computer all together, I've started to get a little rusty with the writing and scripting so the update is gonna be slow for now but I expect it to be done before the end of this month.
I need time to assess my writing thoroughly for plot purposes... that and to avoid just making some lame jokes in there... also need to stop reading isekai mangas when I'm under meds coz wtf I almost put in the cliche "Oh i'm really OP" stuff in it and published it.
Still working on the part coz I keep redoing certain stuff and it should be good by next week but can't promise coz there's still a lot that needs fixing IRL
XD I knew I put too much detail into him but no I'm afraid he is not for reasons in the next update. Although he might or might not be the occasional tease throughout the story :3
Really good introduction, it left me quite intrigued. Although, it got a little too wordy with the descriptions for my taste, still really good! Will be keeping an eye out for future updates.
I see, I just know some people dont like naming the character as themselves or prefer the cannonical name (like myself). Still, amazing job :) I hope your project goes far.
Short first build but very interesting so far, I like the somber start of the game really pulls me into the story. One thing though each time Torent expression changes he disappear then reappear, I don't know much about Renpy but I'm sure tweaking that wouldn't be very difficult, also the name of the game is kinda weird, To THE lonely A home isn't exactly grammar correct but if it's intentional then I don't really care.
Also I fixed the Fading in and out issue, (I just misplaced the lines)
And the title is actually "To the lonely, a home" It's more like a declaration rather than a title so it will be oddly toned to most people when they hear it for the first time, but as the game progresses it should shed some light into that later on :3
I applaud what little you have done, it already speaks volumes, with the amount of care and detail! There is not much to go off of yet, but I already feel quite immersed.
Thank you and I'll keep at it making sure to keep in mind to have most of the dialogue more understandable and easier to read without sacrificing the feels
Looks promising, art is quite good too! Though this project needs better proof-reading, and I'd suggest tying to look for a proof-reader (or beta-reader) that speaks and writes English at a native level, if possible. I don't think I need to add anything else, as the comment below summarizes the areas to improve quite well. Keep up the good work, and please try to improve the areas mentioned below. :)
Thank you and yes I am working on it, also you're reading the alpha as it is not even V1.0 yet XD
But I'm fairly certain of my skills in English though I might need to warm up a little bit more to get to a good rhythm of consistency and clerity in writing again since I stopped writing about 3 or 4 years ago. So... Yeah... I forgot most of my skills, tee hee!
My specialty is in American accents and people could never really tell that they're not talking to a native speaker but I don't like the accent much because it's... Let's say restricting when it comes to more emotional stuff as the dialect specializes more in "telling" than showing.
Hey, I noticed you wrote that you were interested in constructive criticism in the end-notes, so I jotted down some thoughts about the text. (See pastebin link). I scribbled my feedback pretty quickly, so there's some misspellings and such, but I hope you understand the intent behind my feedback.
I'm glad that you made time to analized my writing very carefully and to clarify some of your questions,
In my country Michael is actually sometimes used as names for females and is pronounced as Meeka-el and the male version is Mikel
And yeap I knew someone would get lost in my wordings as I am mainly influenced by much older texts and odd vocabulary, but there is a reason why the timing and memory isn't chronological as you would likely see in future updates. :3
But I do agree on most parts as I tend to make clunky writing.
And don't worry, as I am vigorously working on improving it and getting back my previous skills since I stopped writing nearly 4 years ago due to work and generally experiencing my first years of being an adult and out of school. That or the toxic work :/
Huh that's odd I have 2 devices that has windows and they don't have any issues perhaps try using a different browser or download it through another device like a smartphone then copy it onto the computer
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Woah, these screenshots look really interesting and this character is so hot OwO, I will follow you for more updates from this VN ^w^
Just found out this game! And it looks good 🤍get well soon and can't wait for the next update
ahh, theres no sprite for the other guy yeh? Ze sayop diay ko... My bad i thought he didnt had a sprite lmao
Just downloaded this, Might play later because i'm finding some vn's to play rn. I'll let ya know what i think of it :D
Health comes first dude so please take some long breaks,don't hurt yourself.I really hope you feel better soon 👌.
How are things going with the hiatus?
I just recovered last two weeks ago and am out of meds since last week. But due to prolonged hiatus from my computer all together, I've started to get a little rusty with the writing and scripting so the update is gonna be slow for now but I expect it to be done before the end of this month.
I need time to assess my writing thoroughly for plot purposes... that and to avoid just making some lame jokes in there... also need to stop reading isekai mangas when I'm under meds coz wtf I almost put in the cliche "Oh i'm really OP" stuff in it and published it.
That is still even greater news than I was expecting, and I can't wait to see the next update when it comes out!
Will there be an update soon?
Still working on the part coz I keep redoing certain stuff and it should be good by next week but can't promise coz there's still a lot that needs fixing IRL
This update was pretty short, yet still intriuging, I await the next one with much excitment
What's new in the newest update? Devlog, please?
Oof! Sorry about that I accidentally didn't check the "publish" box and it didn't pop up, also put in the android version :3
Who's the sexy white wolf? He seems to have a mean air/attitude to him, will he be a romance interest?
XD I knew I put too much detail into him but no I'm afraid he is not for reasons in the next update. Although he might or might not be the occasional tease throughout the story :3
Will Torent have a romance route?
Yep he's the 1st one I'm developing at the moment
Really enjoyed his build, I think this game has lots of potential and I look forward to seeing it grow!
Really good introduction, it left me quite intrigued. Although, it got a little too wordy with the descriptions for my taste, still really good! Will be keeping an eye out for future updates.
One question: will the MC have a canonical name?
That... I have not decided yet XD
I see, I just know some people dont like naming the character as themselves or prefer the cannonical name (like myself). Still, amazing job :) I hope your project goes far.
Short first build but very interesting so far, I like the somber start of the game really pulls me into the story. One thing though each time Torent expression changes he disappear then reappear, I don't know much about Renpy but I'm sure tweaking that wouldn't be very difficult, also the name of the game is kinda weird, To THE lonely A home isn't exactly grammar correct but if it's intentional then I don't really care.
Yass I did something right XD
Also I fixed the Fading in and out issue, (I just misplaced the lines)
And the title is actually "To the lonely, a home" It's more like a declaration rather than a title so it will be oddly toned to most people when they hear it for the first time, but as the game progresses it should shed some light into that later on :3
"To the lonely a home" is perfectly grammatically correct, and not a single one of your sentences in this post is grammatically correct.
English is my second language, so I'm sorry? I just thought the title sounds a bit weird
Is this VN going to be linear or nonlinear?
Nonlinear as there will be options later but Torent will be the first encounter that leads to other encounters :3
I'm so excited about the future of this visual novel. 😍🔥🔥🏃🏽♂️
I applaud what little you have done, it already speaks volumes, with the amount of care and detail! There is not much to go off of yet, but I already feel quite immersed.
Thank you and I'll keep at it making sure to keep in mind to have most of the dialogue more understandable and easier to read without sacrificing the feels
Looks promising, art is quite good too! Though this project needs better proof-reading, and I'd suggest tying to look for a proof-reader (or beta-reader) that speaks and writes English at a native level, if possible. I don't think I need to add anything else, as the comment below summarizes the areas to improve quite well. Keep up the good work, and please try to improve the areas mentioned below. :)
Thank you and yes I am working on it, also you're reading the alpha as it is not even V1.0 yet XD
But I'm fairly certain of my skills in English though I might need to warm up a little bit more to get to a good rhythm of consistency and clerity in writing again since I stopped writing about 3 or 4 years ago. So... Yeah... I forgot most of my skills, tee hee!
My specialty is in American accents and people could never really tell that they're not talking to a native speaker but I don't like the accent much because it's... Let's say restricting when it comes to more emotional stuff as the dialect specializes more in "telling" than showing.
Hey, I noticed you wrote that you were interested in constructive criticism in the end-notes, so I jotted down some thoughts about the text. (See pastebin link). I scribbled my feedback pretty quickly, so there's some misspellings and such, but I hope you understand the intent behind my feedback.
https://pastebin.com/qk8nQuDJ
Good luck with the continuation of the story. :)
Woo! Yes! Thank you for the generous feedback!
I'm glad that you made time to analized my writing very carefully and to clarify some of your questions,
In my country Michael is actually sometimes used as names for females and is pronounced as Meeka-el and the male version is Mikel
And yeap I knew someone would get lost in my wordings as I am mainly influenced by much older texts and odd vocabulary, but there is a reason why the timing and memory isn't chronological as you would likely see in future updates. :3
But I do agree on most parts as I tend to make clunky writing.
And don't worry, as I am vigorously working on improving it and getting back my previous skills since I stopped writing nearly 4 years ago due to work and generally experiencing my first years of being an adult and out of school. That or the toxic work :/
Also I'll be applying some of your feedback asap like the spelling and thank you for giving me a new name for one of the races! XD
I shall call them the "Borne" short for werebear :3
Thanks in partnership with Microsoft word's autocorrect! Lol
I think I liked it, I can't wait for the release to enjoy more🥰🤎🤎
It doesnt want to download at all....pls fix this..it looks sooo goood!
Which one are you trying to download? I've checked on my end and it seems to be fine
windows
Huh that's odd I have 2 devices that has windows and they don't have any issues perhaps try using a different browser or download it through another device like a smartphone then copy it onto the computer
Probably the itch app...I'll try the browser
windows
hmmmhmmmmmmm
So, what do you think? :3